Not a whole helluva lot going on....

Not much is happening. I mean yeah, there's school, and i did try to go to class a day early but that's not that exciting. There's work, I got moved up at work, but I haven't started yet. I start that today.

Prince has had the runny nose from hell.I'm shocked that he has any brains left.

Today I made tiny muffins so I can feel like a giant as I devour them in one bite.

Oh, new favorite bitch beer- Jack Daniels summer cocktails. Cheaper then mike's and even though they have the same ammount of alcohol, these hit like a ton of bricks

Things I love

1. Adult things sized down for children. It 's so adorable. We also have tiny chairs and tables and couches.
2 Beautiful locales, beautiful clothes, and beautiful little boys
3 Vintage Purses. This alligator skin frame purse with brass fittings is elegant and beautiful,despite being older then my mother. (Which is old for a purse, not so old for a woman, mom)
4 Monograms and beautiful, romantic beds.
5 Gorgeous oldfashioned white cotton nighties. Why did these go out of style?

other things I love but don't have photos of
6 cashmere sweaters.
7 babies
8 new kittens
9 pepsi
10 going to bars
11 Chili's 14oz steak with loaded potatoes and fresh veggies.
12 watching lightening with my friends
13 books by E Nesbit ( where did those carefree times go?)
14 When strangers stop to admire my beautiful child
15 When people call me "Miss"
16 The Simpsons
17 The Green Mile
18 Baby shoes
19 Sleeping late
20 Massages
21 Christmas morning
22 My birthday, even better when other people remember my birthday too!
23 Chocolate. Lindt. Godiva. Dove.....
24 Frozen Grasshoppers ( creme de menthe, creme de cacao, and vanilla ice cream. Its like a milk shake that gets you plastered)
25 having money left after bills are paid
26 Disney Land.
27 pretty, useless things, like silver teacups or Christening Gowns, and gold-dipped roses.
28 Driving into the sunset with old-school punk rock blasting.
29 the smell of unsmoked tabbacco ( like chocolate and rasins and men)
30 family dinners at home. Amazing how quickly you can fall back into your old role.
31 Those rare moments when you and a friend understand each other perfectly and don't need to say anything else.
32 being able to scrapbook uninterupted.
33 brand new books
34 hugs from good friends
35 watching a jerk get pulled over after cutting you off
36 falling asleep early in the evening and not waking up until the next day
37 someone playing with my hair.
38 Buying groceries after not being able to for a long time
39 Watching something pull together after working so hard on it
40 Coming home after being gone for a week and having all your stuff still be there.
41 the first bite of ANYTHING after being very hungry
42 hearing my son talk
43 weddings.
44 when other children want to play with Prince so I can do something else
45 Bubbles!
46 Going back to my home town
47 Moving into a new house
48 Drinking anything out of a martini glass
49 wearing a fabulous coat
50 getting a joke with everybody else, instead of getting it after everyone else and feeling stupid.

Wow, I like a lot of random shit.

Why I Am a BAD MOTHER

I have a confession to make.

I am a bad mom. Here is the proof:

1 Prince says both "Hell yeah!' and "Oh, Shit!"
2 I count french fries as a vegetable.
3 I never buy him a meal of his own when we go out, I just share with him.
4 I let him drink Iced Tea
5 nothing we have is organic on purpose.
6 I never turn off the TV .
7 those infant learning cards? yeah, we have them, bent up all over the house.
8 Prince sleeps in my bed at least once a week.
9 I call a sitter so I can go get drunk with friends about once a month. ( or maybe this makes me a good mom for not drinking around my kid)
10 I yell if he doesn't listen after two tries
11 He dumped his plate on me, so I dumped my plate on him.
12 I have sat on him in order to brush his teeth.
13 He once bit me and I called him a savage little beast, and threw him in his room and forgot about him for an hour.
14 I give him chunks of lemon because the face he makes is funny.
15 When he isn't behaving like a little prince, he is a little rat.
16 I once lost him in Khols and when I found him, he had dismantled a sunglasses display.
17 One time he was screaming, and I thought he was throwing a fit, but actually, his foot was caught in his bed rail.
18 I let the neighborhood kids take him out to play so I can take a nap.
19 I have seriously considered sending footage of him throwing a tantrum in to Trojan for a condom commercial.
20 I almost always come home from work with a balloon ( or ten) candy, stickers, or a toy for him.
21 He thinks I am the Goddess of Crackers and Milk, because I never tell him no.
22 I used to make cheese sandwiches, now I just give him a piece of cheese because that's all he eats.
23 He got into my make up and dress shoes. I took picture.
24 I also have a naked picture of him on my TV stand.
25 Sometimes the only thing he eats all day is macaroni and cheese. Even for breakfast.
26 his birthday parties take 6 months planning and cost a couple hundred dollars.
27 last Christmas he got 4 tricycles. And I let him keep them all
28 none of our remotes have batteries an non of our lamps work because he lost them or broke them and I cant be bothered to replace them
29 I once put his shoes on the wrong feet and yelled at him for crying the whole walk to the grocery store and didn't realize the problem until we got home.
30 I quit breastfeeding before a year.
31 I didn't use cloth diapers.
32 I once lost our entire stock of bottles only to find them a week later, nasty, curdled bottles of have filled milk, underneath his crib. I washed them out and kept using them,
33 I have tried to take bottles away 4 times, but always cave.
34 I only remember to run the humidifier half the time.
35 I forgot to do the moth by month baby book for his second year, and it probably wont get done now.
36 if anyone else is over, I defer bed time to them, so I don't have to deal with it. He always screams when I put him down, but not anyone else.
37 our neighbors smoke weed. I let Prince play with their son, even though I could smell it so I could walk to the grocery store.
38 I let him fall off the bed when he was 4 month old
39 I let him get a concussion the day before his first birthday.
40 I use the fact that I have a baby with me to get better seats on the bus, help out of the grocery store, and just making people move.


Someone call CPS, because I am obviously the world's worst mother.